Family Maxims #12

I have succumbed to the dark side of the literary world. No, I haven't begun reading "Zane" novels, though I admit leafing through a couple and turning the color my face only displays after a long run. I am a Kindle owner....

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Family Maxims #11

It's been a long day at work. Longer than normal because you forgot it was daylight savings time, and you got to work an hour late and your boss yelled at you, and you were already behind, and then a customer called and bitched you out for sending them the wrong product model, and you promised a...

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Family Maxims #10

I like pickles....

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Family Maxims #9

You're in a hurry. Surprise. No different from any other day of the week. The coffee in your hand turns to ice as you walk toward the gates of hell for another day. ...

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Family Maxims #8

He was lining up cans on a grocery store's shelves. A few years later he led his team to victory in Superbowl XXXIV. ...

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Family Maxims #7

The campaign was long; the oil-tanker capacity caffeine consumption, even more massive. Still the vice-presidential candidate trudged along, dutifully fulfilling his stumping requirements for then-candidate Obama. ...

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Family Maxims #6

I escape from my symmetrical, laptoped, boss-invaded, suspended-ceilinged, view-of-trailer-parked prison at noon and slip away to the library. Comfortable in my seat next to the fireplace, I start to read the daily paper. All around are hushed sounds, voices compliant with the low decibel...

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Family Maxims #5

A few months ago, several major industrial equipment manufacturers met in New York City to discuss the feasibility of producing a line of check-out lane conveyor belts that are 12" long, necessary to stem the tide of recent murders associated with customers infuriated with other customers'...

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Family Maxims #4

When the 13 colonies voted unanimously for independence from Britain in 1776, that was a good decision. When Abraham Lincoln wrote and delivered the Gettysburg address, that was a good decision. ...

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Family Maxims #3

An interloper lurks in my living room. It brings tears, shouts, cheers, screams, corrections. Once relegated to the whimsy of air waves, this thing now reigns supreme over the digital spectrum, ready to image you to inspiration or to death....

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Family Maxims #2

There's a scene that repeats itself every time I go to the store. It might jump out at me within the first few feet. It might take several aisles. But invariably, eventually, I will see the foreign object....

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Family Maxims #1

Families should stand for something. I'm not talking about political or religious convictions; I'm talking about simple codes of conduct that speak to the decency of human beings, and maybe a quirk or two, too....

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