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Going Postal

I never wanted to go to the post office. ...

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street sign with a bottle and glass.

Whiskey Miles

Next weekend, we'll travel up to Sauk Rapids, MN with my mother and father-in-law. While they attend my father-in-law's 50th high-school reunion, we'll hang out with extended family, though I am considering crashing the reunion, closet black-market medical supplies peddler that I am. You should see...

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Push

10 Reasons Not to Take a Summer Vacation

With summer months close on the horizon, you might be thinking about a family vacation. You might think you'll create fond memories that will resurface at family gatherings for years to come. Stop. Have you considered the implications of bad memories? Of things that should stay buried? Of possible...

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Grandmas Homemade Cherry Pie

Travel Truths

Drove up to see Grandma JoJo over the weekend for her 81st birthday. Always great to see her, and awesome that the older kids know their great grandma well enough to form permanent memories. ...

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My Little Phony

All across America, across the world, adults trudge home after the recurring 9-5 beating, just wanting to wind down, grab a beer, clear their heads, meditate on lowering sensitivity to pain so as to better endure the next day's beating, and go to bed....

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Helloaaahhh!

Few are the moments that I stand my ground when a solid-mass weapon is hurtling toward me at top speed. If I see a kamikaze mailman moving in with a hand-gun drawn and aimed, I run inside, lock the door, and dispose of all stamps. That's gotta be what he's after, right?...

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Selective Censor

Anyone who knows me knows I'm a fan of selective strong language (and if you don't know me, what's your problem? Good stuff here)....

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Gone Fishin'

Twenty or so years ago, my Uncle Scott took me out to West Lake in Davenport, and we caught Bluegills, which he filleted and during which I nearly puked. I love fish, but the end result of their death, not the prep....

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'How *you* doin'?'

Ten bucks says most of you know the fictional character that spoke this trademark line. Well, let's make that one dollar, since it's all but assured....

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Home Sweet Whoa

In a few weeks, I'll be moving from working out of a field office to working exclusively out of my home. ...

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Morning Buddies #2

A stranger looking at my schedule would conclude I'm a Fortune 500 exec who chooses to live in a middle-class neighborhood to avoid notoriety. Middle-class neighborhood: check. Still waiting on the stock options....

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Everyday Pops

Birthday parties usually leave behind assorted detritus that lies around the house until someone (Dad) summons the gumption to move it to the trash. After Anna's three-year-old party a few weeks ago, said detritus took the form of pink balloons--all in relative states of deflation, looking like...

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A Good Waste of $

The sun was setting against the horizon of the farm fields that sloped away for miles from the perch on top of the hill where my parents have their acreage. With 120 some-odd range balls in hand, newly purchased from the Maquoketa Walmart, Drew and Trevor (my teenage brothers), Chris...

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Mini-Cart Devils

I think Hy-Vee puts those little kids' shopping carts in the store for the sole purpose of getting a kick out of the actions of the kids whose parents let them use the carts and foolishly believe that these miniature time occupiers will actually result in better behavior. Bully for them....

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