Beautiful orchid flower background with copy space

Orchids and Oracles

Playing cards were scattered across the floor, appearing in odd locations, seeming to buck the expectation to follow a trail. Whose expectation? The one that said certain random cards, if claimed with haste, and if said cards matched the house's hand, could lead their bearer to a reward. The players...

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christmas snowman decoration


I imagine a big hamster wheel. I step onto the tread, move one foot in front of the other, feeling the sole of my shoe grip the inclined part of the curved wall, sunlight glinting off the shiny, metal-trimmed edge, and I press forward and down. ...

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Young man with lens

Searching for Cookies

103 days ago, I started a strategic initiative to achieve financial freedom, apex career status, and optimum mental health, all in rising amounts over the next decade. With any journey, it is important to set short-term goals to measure one's progress, ensure one has stayed on the path and avoided...

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Razor blade

Ride the Razor

Occam's Razor is a problem-solving heuristic, useful in choosing one explanation from many for unexplained circumstances. It says that when deciding among many possible solutions to a problem, choose the simplest, the one requiring the fewest assumptions. ...

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One 3D lego yellow block

The LEGO Movie Way

In The LEGO Movie, during the scene where Emmet and his gang arrive at Cloud Cuckoo Land, Unikitty, with her effervescent (bordering on psychopathic bi-polar) personality describes the appearing-like-a-circus, multi-colored, multi-styled, multi-use-of-drugs-infused-into-plastic society as being...

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Piano playing pianist concert. Classical music

Mid-Year Checkup with Rachmaninoff

Who says New Year's Resolutions are only for January? I say you should do a mid-year review to ensure you're on-track, and if you're off-track--to ensure you have enough time to pull back onto the road before you smash into a bridge abutment, splattering your brains (bridge abutment being failure,...

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Skeleton Pirates Portrait


One of my pins says "Drinking rum before 10a makes you a pirate. NOT an alcoholic." While this statement ranks with "Yes, sir, this serial murderer I just arrested is the same jerkwad who cut you off back there," I'll wager whomever originated this pin failed to poll a representative sample of...

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Lying salesman or businessman


The anger poured through the politician's veins like boiling liquid on exposed skin, burning everything. He had exhausted his arsenal of arguments, negotiated with industry players, schmoozed lobbyists, and still, it wasn't enough. ...

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Pine nuts in ceramic bowls

Greek Gaa!

Avoid gluten, do more cardio, walk with family members, go to the gym with friends, do a master cleanse, don't eat fast food, eat all the fast food you want, eat only fruit, eat no fruit, avoid dairy, go buy yourself a freakin' cow. ...

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Dino Drawers

Disclaimer: this post is not a metaphor....

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I used to picture a road-block as a wooden barricade painted orange and white, something prone to induce immediate cursing....

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5 Reasons Not to Install Tile Yourself

1. Unless it's been a fantasy of yours to reenact the SAW movies and you just get sick to your stomach every time you look at all those stupid fucking fingers on your hands, pay the man....

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5 Reasons to Eat Fast Food for Dinner

1. You can find out how much your son trusts you when he tells you at least 10 times not to eat the last taco, because he plans to hog it for himself for lunch the next day, and then goes a step further and draws a sign on construction paper with his name on one side, his sister's name on the other,...

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That's a Problem?

Scene at a party:...

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Lazenby Street

We've all heard of Easy Street, right? That mythical land of few, if any, problems, where money and sex flow equally with the lack of STDs and financial regulations for goosing the little guy with a piece of re-bar. Ok, so that's not what you pictured (or is it?), but however distorted your view of...

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Treasure Trash

In line at Walmart, you see a youth (translation: a humanoid certain to turn into a homicidal maniac and end your life should you deign to look them in the eye). This youth has nappy hair. This isn't a slight; it's accurate, and you are nothing if not realistic in your historical cataloging of the...

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Dude, Where's My Car?

It was a grand moment in cinematic history. A time where the actors' portrayals transcended the suspension of disbelief gulf and became real. The world bathed in the truisms of such a grand and yet colloquial story, viewers seeing pieces of their own lives resonating in the reel....

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Deadly Debt

Man driving suv claims brake failure in three-car accident that claims lives of mother and two children....

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Life (a review)

Country twang has an effect on me similar to Pavlov's ringing bell. My ears perk up, tong rolls out my mouth, and I'll do just about anything for the bell-ringer if I get to listen to that sweet nasality. ...

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Balls on the Walls ... or Something

The shadow on the hall carpet of me brushing my teeth was a visual double entendre trick of the light, flashing images of something immediately obscene and hilarious. Then I thought, So what?...

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