Frickin' Frostys

I introduced Will to golf last summer, and, wanting to keep him enthused in between lessons, I took the whole family to the driving range. ...

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Darn Dog

Have you ever wanted to turn your dog into its namesake of the heated variety? Sure you have. Dogs are hard-wired chewing machines, and although you may love their sad eyes and cuddly tendencies, murderous rage will arise....

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Santa Claus Is Fake

What would you do if you awoke to the sound of footsteps on your roof? If you're anything like me, you'd grab your baseball bat and creep over to the source of the noise, ready to pounce should the intruder make an appearance. ...

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Mean Like Them

A young humanoid is starving. What to do? Why, appeal to the vast difference in edibles charity between his parents and grandparents, of course--the latter being Hobbit generous, the former apparently comparable to Giant Despair...

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Dinnertime Dance

"Oh, I'll get them to eat veggies," the mom in the pasta sauce commercial said of the product she was hawking, voice oozing with cleverness. "'How?' You ask. I have a way. It's deliciously clever, and they'll be none the wiser."...

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'But I Am Sleeping'

Mornings make me groggy, and I expect I have company on this team. To bed with eight or three hours till my Super Mario Brothers One theme (don't laugh; it's only a little lame ... I think) plays from my phone, it takes a daily act of the coffee gods to get me to a state alert enough to operate a...

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Synonyms for Sloth

My Roget's Super Thesaurus lists the following for the first synonym for sloth: n. laziness....

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