Willing Wino

I love my kids so much, they drive me to drink--water, that is. ...

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5 Reasons to Install a Kitchen Island

1. No longer a need to go upstairs to get it on....

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Pillow Problems

Do you sleep in the valley of the shadow of a pillow that has lost its glory? That exists on your bed as a symbol of comfort that once was? That is smashed in the middle because somebody, not the kids, was bouncing up and down, even though you wanted to go to sleep (insert laugh track)?...

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5 Reasons Music Practice Is Impossible When the Kids Are Awake

1. Humans can only decipher frequencies up to around 20,000 Hz, so when your daughter is screaming because she hit her ankle on nothing, even though you don't hear anything, what you can't hear coming out of her Scream 1, 2, etc. mouth contortion is the reason your ears are bleeding....

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5 Reasons to Eat Fast Food for Dinner

1. You can find out how much your son trusts you when he tells you at least 10 times not to eat the last taco, because he plans to hog it for himself for lunch the next day, and then goes a step further and draws a sign on construction paper with his name on one side, his sister's name on the other,...

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'How *you* doin'?'

Ten bucks says most of you know the fictional character that spoke this trademark line. Well, let's make that one dollar, since it's all but assured....

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Home Sweet Whoa

In a few weeks, I'll be moving from working out of a field office to working exclusively out of my home. ...

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'Sustenence' Means Food

Do you know what "evil-adverbiously" means? Unless you're a die-hard Dickens fan, I'm guessing not....

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Ethereal Excitement

The movie, "The Invention of Lying," presents a world where people are incapable of lying. They just say whatever is on their minds, such as:...

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