Businessman Drawing on the Whiteboard. Pop Art

Editor's Note--TFF Issue #19

A few months ago, I decided to write a daily quote on my office wall. No, I’m not an irascible child who will not be contained in my creative fury. I have a whiteboard that I use for quote purposes and other work stuff. ...

[ Swap Article ]

roller coaster

Thrill Ride

I delivered my 10th speech at Toastmasters this past Thursday, earning me the ranking of Competent Communicator (CC), as if there was any doubt. I've found it helpful to post these speeches here, as 1) they might help you light a fire under your ass to start your public speaking journey, and 2) I...

[ Swap Article ]

The sun painted chalk on the asphalt

Editor's Note--TFF Issue #17

I find myself sitting at my kitchen table on the best day of the year, weather wise. I'm inside but close enough to the patio door to feel the sun's rays radiating through the glass. Their circle of influence grows strong today. ...

[ Swap Article ]

Mr. Know-It-All Name Badge Customer Support Help Service Assista

That Guy

"A lot of 'ums' today. Lots of opportunity to use the squeaker. Just saying." ...

[ Swap Article ]

christmas snowman decoration

Shiny

I imagine a big hamster wheel. I step onto the tread, move one foot in front of the other, feeling the sole of my shoe grip the inclined part of the curved wall, sunlight glinting off the shiny, metal-trimmed edge, and I press forward and down. ...

[ Swap Article ]

bat isolated on white background

Mousebat

Mousebat opened its eyes, then quickly closed them when light struck the virgin lenses. The creature's eyes were so sensitive to the effects of light, it was only able to lift the lids a millimeter at a time, every few minutes, until hours later, its eyes finally adjusted enough to permit them...

[ Swap Article ]

golden iced lolly

Perishable Relics

The explorer burst into the temple at a run, breathing hard from the exertion. She skidded to a stop and scanned around, willing her eyes to adjust quickly to the dim light. The ancient guardians of the temple were fast on her heels, their heavy footballs echoing off the ancient stone, growing...

[ Swap Article ]

Read the Fine Print Magnifying Glass Words

Valentine's Day TLC (terms of loving conditions)

Today, my wife of almost 12 years, Amy, will be schlepping the kids to the library, a destination sought only after hauling them to swimming lessons this morning at 9:15a, also a destination sought only after coaxing three children under age 10 out of bed and into a state of acceptable outdoor dress...

[ Swap Article ]

standing human skeleton behind the glass with alcohol

When Death Gives You Lemons

As a boy, D.S. Howe and his friend John were hanging out in D.S.' room. John said he was hungry for an apple. D.S. went to the fridge and saw they had a gross of apples and one lemon. D.S. loved apples in any form, feeling his stomach tighten and a sneer creeping onto his face when his friend had...

[ Swap Article ]

Push

10 Reasons Not to Take a Summer Vacation

With summer months close on the horizon, you might be thinking about a family vacation. You might think you'll create fond memories that will resurface at family gatherings for years to come. Stop. Have you considered the implications of bad memories? Of things that should stay buried? Of possible...

[ Swap Article ]

5 Awesome Things

1. Flycatcher insect-catcher strips. There is no quick fix to the problem of insect infestation, and by infestation, I mean greater than or equal to one six-legged creature within the boundaries of my real-estate domain. But by hanging a couple of these in my basement, at least I can revel in my...

[ Swap Article ]

UFO Abduction

Tommyknockitoff

I'd like to blame Stephen King for the tires going bald on my car. Sure it's a 2001 Kia Sportage with almost 100,000 miles on it, and probably has as much business driving at speeds above 70mph (even with new tires) as a sumo wrestler has landing a spot on the US synchronized swimming team, but it's...

[ Swap Article ]

Staying Calm: 10 Reasons Seth Sucks #5

1. Seth has stolen several golf balls that dickwad players hit into him (perhaps this should go in a "Seth Is Awesome" category?)....

[ Swap Article ]

All that Dying Sucks

Parents: if your children behave like Beetlejuice when you say it's time to go to swim class, monsters from a Stephen King novel replacing facial features, pay attention. There is cause for concern....

[ Swap Article ]

5 Reasons Your Exercise Bike Could Be Buzzing

1. The kitchen timer is broken, and your pizza is done....

[ Swap Article ]