Madre Greater than Padre

Madre > Padre

A couple weeks ago, Amy diagnosed and changed out all three fuses that controlled electrical flow to the outlets in our car. Super sexy. Super cool. When I say that Amy did it, I don't mean that I was standing on the sidelines, guiding hands and helping words coaching her to a successful solution. I...

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Cartoon stick figure drawing conceptual illustration of angry man or businessman targeting with antique cannon ready to fire.

Bolt-Action Cannonball Sack

"Can you do the bolt-action cannonball sack?" Ella asked me today during bedtime. She was trying to remember the name of the move I do when I toss her over my shoulder and then flip her onto the bed. (I call it the fireman’s carry/toss.) Earlier, she was playing Fortnite with Will and must have...

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Set, collection of colorful socks icons with different ornaments isolated on white background.

Waiting for Sock

Think about stuff you need to get you through your day. Does coffee come to mind? Of course it does. For millions of Americans and billions of people around the world, coffee, in its various forms, is a daily ritual. Not just a daily ritual--an hourly fix, as in you need to grab more black sludge...

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Shuffler's Luck

I never knew a card game could change my life. I'm not talking about a high-stakes poker game, where international gangsters vie for dominance in a world of chance, and if chance doesn't go their way, bullets will do as a nice substitute. I'm talking about a simple card game with suggestions for the...

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Battle of the Sarcasticons

I’m raising a band of Little Sarcasticons. Defined term? Yes, yes it is. You can find it in the Kabala Book of Sarcasticisms. New chapters available daily. No longer must we be constrained in our sarcastic witticism production. Oh, no, folks. Netflix has joined the charge with their resurrection...

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!FINAL FINAL Mike Graphic Album Cover v2 Option D copy

Review: The Worst Kind of Thoughtful

"One-hundred percent Italian" stand-up comic Mike Vecchione hails from the Queens borough of New York City. While writing, rehearsing, and recording The Worst Kind of Thoughtful, his 2nd comedy album, we're guessing he never gave a thought to how the awesomeness of his work would necessitate public...

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Editor’s Note--TFF Issue #18

The entertainer waited patiently at the street corner. Regaled in his Darth Vader mask, he struck a menacing, if not eye-brow raising, figure. A black cape flowed behind him in the soft downtown breeze, also ruffling the hem of his kilt. ...

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The sun painted chalk on the asphalt

Editor's Note--TFF Issue #17

I find myself sitting at my kitchen table on the best day of the year, weather wise. I'm inside but close enough to the patio door to feel the sun's rays radiating through the glass. Their circle of influence grows strong today. ...

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masters degree, 3D rendering, triple flags

Just Like Howard

The books punched through the plaster and lathe boards and utilities recessed in the ceiling, through the rafters and sheathing and shingles, sending splinters flying and pipes bursting. Roofing materials exploded into a thousand lethal projectiles as the book pile launched into the atmosphere. With...

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2018 year goals list on napkin

Editor's Note--TFF Issue #16

2017 is coming to a close. ...

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Colourful lighting bulb

Illumination

After realizing he'd spent five hours researching oil lamps, tallow candles, and ancient spells to conjure light, he decided his life was pathetic, and he bought a floor lamp. ...

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The New PSP

The New PSP

Causality is difficult to determine. Although it is easy enough to observe event A and then event B and conclude that, assuming a plausible relationship exists between the two, A somehow caused B to happen, how do we prove this? ...

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Fortune Favors the Bold Proverb

Erring on the Side of Recklessness

When I was a teenager, I was into BMX dirt-jumping, spending many summers building ramps in the fields behind my best friend Nick's house. While the rest of the world was having fun at city pools and water parks, Nick and I and our cohorts were digging holes. ...

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insurance design

Smoking Charges Ignite

Last night, Amy took Anna, our seven-year-old, to the dress rehearsal for her 2015 dance recital. I was left in charge of Will, our nine-year-old, and Ella, our three-year-old. What follows is a litany of the kids showing me that I exist in their world as a piece of tightly-spun twine, permanently...

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Boy playing a piano

Practice, Practice, Practice

Nostalgia is nice. Could be some out-of-focus, hold-in-your-hands photos (remember those?) you took of a rad freestyle biker riding the spine at a local skate park. Could be the video you took of the owner, a former freestyle and vert riding pro, pulling some gravity-defying tricks and then abruptly...

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Man jumps into a dangerous lake

Crimes of the Catty

Standing at the window outside Will and Anna's swimming class, I was privy to the criticisms of one of the instructors from a catty parent regarding said instructor's interaction with a small child who was visibly afraid to jump off the diving board. ...

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young man standing and juggling with red balls

Sideshow Juggler

The circus juggler approaches the edge of the arena. His heart is pounding like a bass drum, hands sweaty and slick, as though dipped in oil, mind racing like a bullet train. All of his training has been in preparation for this moment, the moment he displays his awesome skill for the audience and...

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Jugend und Alkohol

10 Reasons My Kids Will Be Beer Drinkers

1. I will offer it when the time comes--and offer and offer until they take a swig, and then they'll be hooked. If that doesn't work, I will threaten to chaperone all their dates and wear daisy dooks in public and streak across the football field at homecoming (a high-school dream never realized)...

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Computer criminal

A Couple Thoughts on Honesty

Last year, we were at Mom and Dad's for a bonfire. I was sitting, watching the fire, and Will, my then seven-year-old, came over to sit on my lap. After finding his place, he took the Gatorade bottle I'd been holding, and from which I'd been enjoying a tasty, albeit non-alcoholic, beverage, and...

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