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Filed Under on March 17th, 2012

'Do I look fantastic?'

By Seth Kabala

Back in the early nineties, a quip was popular that expressed sarcastic distaste for whatever had been perceived: “NOT!”

No, really. It was a quip for the reason given: NOT! No, this is not an example about me using this quip to prove that this quip did not have the origin indicated; This is me talking about the sarcastic distaste indicated toward any undesired stimulus through the use of the quip NOT!

This could go on ad infinitum, and I and Abbott & Costello would be entertained, but I sense it would annoy everyone else, like chuck your phone at the wall and curse my name annoyed, so … to the point.

My four-year-old daughter, Anna, came downstairs the other day, dressed in enough pink to make the Crayola folks worried about color supply. Anna walked up to Will, my six-year-old son, and said, “Do I look fantastic?”

No opportunity to provide his own opinion on her looks. No humility on her part. Just a this is my opinion, and you’d better damn well make it yours, Buster, or else attitude.

Pretty sure Will ignored her and/or rolled his eyes. No worries, though. My wife, Amy, and I always reassure her of her beauty, so no crying ensued.

But it didn’t end there.

Anna and Ella’s beauty (Ella being our five-month-old, who’s doing some pretty serious mugging these days, and not too far removed from asking questions that are really declaratives) will not only force me to put away as much money for wedding dresses as most people spend on a car (think five figures); I will also be forced to endure the humiliation of being featured in not one, but two episodes of Say Yes to the Dress, which will expose the fact that, in my full metrosexual lifestyle, I’ve been a fan of the show for years.

So now that it’s out there, I’ll go ahead and admit it: Honey, all those times I came upstairs from working out to find you watching the show, and you said we didn’t have to watch SYTTD, a little part of me died as I cowered away from a true predilection.

But other than the financial hit and an outing of my viewing tastes, I’m sure nothing but innocent implications will stem from Anna’s expectation of concurrence with her beauty.

NOT!

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Seth Kabala

About: Seth Kabala
Seth is an entrepreneur, writer, and musician. He lives with his wife and three children in Portland, OR.

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