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Filed Under , , on February 14th, 2015

Valentine’s Day TLC (terms of loving conditions)

By Seth Kabala

Today, my wife of almost 12 years, Amy, will be schlepping the kids to the library, a destination sought only after hauling them to swimming lessons this morning at 9:15a, also a destination sought only after coaxing three children under age 10 out of bed and into a state of acceptable outdoor dress (meaning actual clothes and not super hero or Disney princess getups, and prayerfully articles at least 80% hole-free, which doesn’t include the knees of pants).

To top it off, it’s Saturday, meaning the pull of the nocturnal angel of sleep is even stronger than normal–nay! (said, obviously, with the classical acting flair of Kelsey Grammer)–nearly inescapable. But she manages to punch that wispy spirit in the kisser every Saturday, get out of bed, and achieve productivity of which I can only dream. So I feel it is appropriate, given that it’s Valentine’s Day, to list 10 prepositional phrases (for those of you who love grammar more than anything on this holiday) introducing evidence Amy overcomes on her way to achieving daily awesomeness.

1. In spite of the kids watching the same animated show 100 times in a row, Amy has not exercised her authority to block shows, take a mallet to the TV, or run the lawnmower over the kids’ DVDs.

2. In spite of me blasting the family’s ears out with my operatic singing practice, Amy smiles and suggests the kids go upstairs if they want to hear their own thoughts.

3. In spite of me hunting and pecking my way through the Rachmaninoff 3rd Piano Concerto (which is beautiful when played a tempo but sounds like cats jumping on broken guitars when played at learning speed), Amy does not adopt a snarky tone and suggest I maintain a steady day job.

4. In spite of me working long hours during the week and most weekends, Amy affirms and respects my ambition at every turn.

5. In spite of our bedroom being unusable for days due to a floor refinishing project, Amy acquiesced to creative staging for amorous activity.

6. In spite of our kitchen being unusable for days due to continuation of the refinishing project, Amy’s expression of discontent was contained to being sad she couldn’t prepare a from-scratch meal for her family.

7. In spite of the kids seeming to forget everything they’ve ever learned every single day they are asked to demonstrate previously demonstrated knowledge, Amy has the patience of Job, or Adam Sandler in 50 First Dates, depending on your era, pushes through, achieves success, and bolsters self confidence in our children.

8. In spite of me listening to, at blaring volume, Pavarotti arias one day while working out and Avenged Sevenfold the next time, Amy forgoes commentary on my weird, eclectic tastes, and raises her voice to a banshee yell to ascertain when I’ll be ready for dinner.

9. In spite of Amy needing at least eight hours of sleep to feel fully rested and functional, she gets up with the kids when they have night-terrors and doesn’t give me the stink-eye when I say, “Wow, everybody slept through the night, huh?”

10. In spite of me being me, she looks past the fire and smoke of Mordor, past the treachery roaming the halls of King’s Landing, past all combinations and permutations of Gunslinger quests to apprehend The Man in Black (Stephen King fans will understand)–and she loves me.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Babe!

Love you :)

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Seth Kabala

About: Seth Kabala
Seth is an entrepreneur, writer, and musician. He lives with his wife and three children in Portland, OR.

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