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Avoid gluten, do more cardio, walk with family members, go to the gym with friends, do a master cleanse, don’t eat fast food, eat all the fast food you want, eat only fruit, eat no fruit, avoid dairy, go buy …...

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Pine nuts in ceramic bowls

Filed Under on February 16th, 2013

Greek Gaa!

By Seth Kabala

Avoid gluten, do more cardio, walk with family members, go to the gym with friends, do a master cleanse, don’t eat fast food, eat all the fast food you want, eat only fruit, eat no fruit, avoid dairy, go buy yourself a freakin’ cow.

If we were to put all the health edicts into a book, it wouldn’t bore us to death; it would become self-aware and eat us all alive just so it didn’t have to listen to any more bullshit from the gurus. Now that I think about it, cannibalism may be a good idea after all.

I try to exercise six times per week. Three cardio, three weights. My wife (on days when she can’t find a suitable excuse, such as the air outside being infected with alien chemicals, i.e., bullshit) works out with her sister three times a week and does the treadmill for the balance of days.

We’re both in our 30s and looking pretty darn good. Maybe not underwear model good, but good enough for beach season. Since I know you all are picturing us in a photo shoot next to David Beckham, I’ll get to the point quick.

Physical activity goes hand in hand with healthy eating. The two can’t exist in isolation. Well, actually, they can, but then you end up pulling a Tom Cruise and going bat shit crazy and/or becoming a 300lb dietitian, a walking waddling contradiction, so balance is best.

But what to do when your efforts to live healthy bite back? When your own house tries to consume you in your attempts to strengthen your temple?

I went to put my empty Greek yogurt cup in the trash. But the trash was so full, my hand got stuck between the top of the cabinet and the top of the trash pile.

Ouch! And they say healthy eating is good for you. Whatever.

What to do? My conclusion is to continue on the same healthy course, eating healthy and exercising six days per week, going college weed munchy binge crazy on Sundays.

Unless, that is, the aliens release airborne toxins. Then, my friends, any day is a candidate for Sunday.

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Seth Kabala

About: Seth Kabala
Seth is an entrepreneur, writer, and musician. He lives with his wife and three children in Portland, OR.

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